Transactional Relationships


Never apologize for doing what’s best for you. Not everyone will agree with your decisions sometimes and that’s okay. Sometimes people you care about and people who claim to care about you will disagree with your decision to do what’s best for you. That’s okay too.

Dr. Seuss once said, “…Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” He was correct! If someone who claims to care about you is opposed to you doing what is best for you, it is time to re-evaluate that relationship. To say you care and to actually care are two different things.

Many of the relationships we foster can be broken down to simple mathematics. They are transactions. If you can do something to help them and they can do something to help you than you are “friends”, “acquaintances”, “insert endearing word here”. But the minute you can’t bring something that they need to the table, you are worthless to them.

How sad is that to think that people only care because it benefits them. I’m not saying I am any different. If we are being honest, we are all guilty or have been guilty of this ourselves, but when this happens to you, know where you stand, know your self worth, and be courageous enough to act on what you know.

Everyone’s definition of what your journey should look like is different and ultimately only one persons vision of that matters… yours.

People’s perceptions of you change everyday. People doubt you everyday, believe in you every day, lose faith and interest in you every day, and grow to love you every day. If you took the time to pay attention and try to justify everyone’s ever changing thoughts of you, it would drive you mad.

So a simple way around this problem is to know who you are, and who God believes you are. Know who you belong to and understand that if He hasn’t shown His plans for you to you, He definitely has not shown it to anyone else.

With that being said, when you find yourself caught up in a transactional relationship, failing to meet the visions that  people have for you, just know that you are more than the opinions of man. You are a Child of God and your worth is found in Him!


Blind Expectations


Have you ever walked through a store looking for a specific item? Let’s say your mom sent you to the store for something that you rarely, if ever, pick up.

You go to the aisle that you hope to find the item in and then skim each shelf. But what happens when you can’t find it?

If we’re being honest, we keep skimming the shelves until our patience wears thin and then we find an employee. The employee walks us over to a spot not too far from where we were just skimming and points out exactly what we are looking for. It was literally right in front of us.

Why does this happen?

It happens because all to often we create a picture in our head of what something is supposed to look like and search for that, instead of looking for things as they are.

This happens with people too. It’s not uncommon to make an assumption about someone, just to find out that they are nothing like what we wrote them off to be.

The same can be said for qualities we find in others.

To be successful, one must be determined and work hard, but there is not a specific blueprint for either of these qualities.

By having a pre-set vision of what hard work and determination looks like, you have a high possibility of missing these qualities in other people.

Qualities we find in others do not have to be packaged in a specific way or displayed in a way that is excepted by the masses. By having preconceived notions we limit ourselves to seeing the greatness in people around us.

With that being said, remember to stay open minded. Everyone brings something special to the table, and sometimes the best things don’t come wrapped up in a bow.